Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: My mom and I have been working on the color theme for my wedding, which is scheduled for the beginning of December. She wants to complement my bridesmaids, but not wear the same color. We are doing a chic, shimmery gray with red accents (to nod toward the holidays, without being too overt). She doesn’t want to do black, because she’s afraid it will be too solemn and red isn’t really up her alley. What color should the mother of the bride wear to the wedding?
Answer: Typically the mother of the bride’s outfit is whatever fits her style. In terms of color, traditionally, attendants and the MOB would avoid white (upstaging the bride), black (it reminds people of mourning) and red (because it’s flashy). However, modern weddings frequently incorporate white (only if instructed by the couple), black and red into the color scheme and the attendant’s attire, so it’s a bit anything goes. If your mom doesn’t want to try and make black look festive (Kelly here: While I personally think black is always the way to go, a mom I know wore black to her daughter’s wedding… her daughter is now getting divorced. I’m not saying it was her mom’s dress, but I’m also not
not saying that) or take a risk with red, she could opt for a subdued gold, which would be in line with the "holiday, but not overt," theme, or truly any color that she favors. My advice would be to stick with jewel tones and cooler hues, since it’s a winter wedding and you are working within a cool color palette. What matters most is that she feels confident in her choice, so that she can focus on enjoying your Big Day and not on her attire.
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email
Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.
An original version of this post was published in March 2019.
